Cumbersome
by thought x crime
Summary: A short little take on Squall and Rinoa's less than perfect relationship and how they come to terms with their differences


"Cumbersome" ~ a songfic by Allora Atwater  
  
A/N: Yeah, yeah, I haven't even waited for feedback on my other story before I got the inspiration to write this bad boy. It's just a short analysis on Rinoa and Squall's relationship after they have their first actual argument, and how it changes their perspective as a whole. It's not really romantic, it more just explains how they get used to each other's presence and how they learn from each other. More post-finals aggression I'm spewing out in the form of literary jargon, but hey, you'll deal with it!  
  
Disclaimer: Do I own Rinoa and Squall? No. Do I own Final Fantasy 8? No. And the song "Cumbersome" is credited to Seven Mary Three.  
  
***  
"Squall!" she sang, her voice light and airy. She danced around him merrily as he walked, in complete silence, to his room.   
"I was thinking," she began, twirling her hair. "We've never really gone on a date or anything, y'know?"  
Squall was decidedly not in the mood to be yanked around, prodded, or jostled. He had a lot on his mind lately, and was enjoying the sacred time he spent to himself. It was a big adjustment, going from the lone teenage outcast to becoming SeeD Commander and renowned savior of the world. Although Rinoa's cheerful disposition was usually a welcome escape from his newly burdened existence, sometimes he found himself wishing she would find someone else to pester.  
"Rinoa, if you're gonna insist I take you somewhere, save your breath."  
She just gave him a critical look, hand on hip, lips pursed, and a dainty finger waggling in accusation.  
"You take this Commander business too seriously sometimes Squall! You're a teenager, remember? So why don't you go out with me tonight and have a little fun before you close yourself up in that room of yours!"  
He brushed past her, his annoyance getting the best of his patience.  
"Look Rinoa, maybe another night -"  
"That's what you always say Squall! You never have time to spend with me!" he sensed her bitterness and felt a twinge of guilt, knowing he was the cause.  
"I'm really sorry. Look, I'll -"  
"No way mister! Tonight you are gonna let loose and have some fun, just you and me!"  
She pulled on his arm to drag him off his course. Big mistake. His thin line of endurance snapped, and he violently snatched his arm back.  
"Listen," he growled, his brow furrowing. "If you and I are gonna have a relationship, you're going to have to respect the fact that I don't always want to spend every waking hour with you!"  
It was like a slap in the face, and he wished with all his heart that the moment he let go of the words he could call them right back. Her eyes betrayed the trembling smile on her lips, opening up to him, for the first time, a world of loneliness and pain.  
"It's alright Squall, I'm sorry." She replied, backing away. "I'll let you have your space from now on."   
  
She calls me Goliath and I wear the David mask  
I guess the stones are comin' too fast for her now  
Y'know I'd like to believe this nervousness will pass  
All the stones that are thrown are building up a wall  
  
One thing Squall knew for sure, was that pleasing a woman as stubborn and fickle as Rinoa was like battling Ultimacea all over again. Sure, he loved her. She as his first love to be quite honest. The first girl to weasel her way into his sealed heart. But really now, it wasn't as if he had too much experience in doing things for other people, especially not for those of the opposite sex. What did he know about getting into a serious relationship, much less holding on to one? Oh yes, she was worth all the trouble, every minute of it. But how much more could either of them endure before their differences couldn't cooperate any longer and something drove them apart? It had been several days, and he had still not apologized. Did he even know how?  
  
I have become cumbersome  
To this world  
I have become cumbersome  
To my girl  
  
"Squall!" Rinoa's gentle soprano beckoned from outside his door. He threw a shirt on and invited her in. She flashed him a tired, albeit dazzling smile.  
"I was wondering…" she began, kicking sheepishly at the ground. "If you'd like to go for a walk with me? Outside that is. It's really nice out, and the weather's great…"  
"Sure," he replied lightly, knowing it would please her to accept.  
"Really?" the dainty girl was disbelieving. "That's great… thank you Squall."  
He pulled his leather jacket from the closet and hastily slipped it on as he escorted her out into the halls of Balamb Garden. She walked beside him quietly, her hands neatly folded behind her back. Hesitantly, he draped an arm across her shoulders, and she accepted his gesture of affection with a smile.  
  
I'd like to believe we can reconcile the past  
Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance  
But my old stone face can't seem to bring her down  
She remembers bridges, burns them to the ground  
  
They strode along, side by side in total silence around the outskirts of Timber. Rinoa nudged him gently, leading him towards Obel Lake. He liked this, the feel of her delicate hand in his, strolling along on a cool night. She shivered a little, and her handed her his jacket. It was as if they were one of the typical teenage couples that you see in movies, and for the first time in his life, Squall felt a sense of normalcy. However, the mood was tense and the air was thick with uncertainty; she had not forgotten his harsh words. As they approached the lake, she released his hand and sat down in the tall grass, beckoning him to join her.  
  
Too heavy too light, too black or too white, too wrong or too right, today or tonight  
Cumbersome  
Too rich or too poor, she's wanting me less and I'm wanting her more  
The bitter taste is cumbersome  
  
He watched her as she gazed up at the stars, her face calm yet pensive. He pulled an arm around her again and this time she laid her head on his shoulder. Together, they observed the glassy surface of the water, calm and stoic in the still night. She sighed and her voice penetrated the dense silence between them.  
"Squall, I've been thinking…" and she stopped, sorting out her words.  
"So have I." He replied, not waiting for her to organize her thoughts. "Is it about the other night?"  
"Yeah," she breathed, staring out at the water. "I'm not saying either one of us is right but… well, I agree with you. We sort of jumped into a relationship under extreme circumstances, without giving it any forethought. I mean, there are a lot of things that you and I need to get accustomed to."  
He laced their fingers together, using his free hand to toss a stone into the water. It skipped several times before disappearing under the surface, the circles growing ever larger until they threatened to swallow the entire lake. Perfect circles, no beginning and no end, just omnipresent.  
  
There is a balance between two worlds  
One with an arrow and a cross  
Regardless of the balance life has become  
Cumbersome  
  
She sighed, the sound reverberating off his chest.  
"I guess the moment I fell in love with you, I thought our relationship could fill the void that had been eating at my soul for so long. I've been… needy, and I haven't had much respect for your feelings. I don't want to change you in order to suit my needs. I just… I want you to tell me from now on when you wanna be alone, and I'll respect it."  
"Rinoa…" he whispered gently, stroking her hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you… but you're right. I'm really not used to having you around all the time. I'm still a lone wolf at heart and it'll take some time for me to be the kind of boyfriend you need."  
"Right. So, why don't we spend more time apart then and make the time we have together more valuable?"  
"Alright," he managed a soft smile, helping her up. "Oh and Rinoa?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I love you."  
She smiled bashfully, a pleased look in her eyes. "And I love you, my Knight. Now come on, let's wander on back to Garden before anyone has the chance to miss us."   
  
I have become cumbersome  
To this world  
I have become cumbersome  
To my girl  
  
Things weren't perfect; they would always have their differences and there would always be conflicting interests every now and then, but Squall was finally convinced that their love was strong enough to handle them. Arm in arm they headed back to the Garden, no feelings of possessiveness or spite foiling their evening, just a pure understanding for one another.  
  
*~*The End*~*  
  
  
  



End file.
